Live Blog Starts at 2.
:44 oh look that one airplane is giving the other a piggy back ride
1:21 so these guys were just hiding in the military grade shuttle craft. someone live in pre 9-11
2:13 listening to one side conversations are fun
2:50 can’t a guy make out with a girl and not get a gun to the face
3:41 oh looks it’s jaws. i guess he’s in this films as well then
4:07 i will say this about the moore years. they knew when to use the bond theme
5:05 it’s a bird, no it’s a plan, no it’s a eight foot man with metal teeth that kills people by biting them
5:38 jesus jaws is going to live through this. at this point he’s immortal
6:40 it’s a shirley bassey theme but it’s moonraker which makes me sad. a shirly bassey rendition of goldeneye i would kill for
7:21 is she suppose to be a space ship?
8:41 besides being a spaceship what the fuck does moonraker mean. they put it in the song it must mean something else. this being bond it’s probable a disguised sex position
10:00 “most secret”? what’s wrong with “top secret” i guess “some” people are allowed to know this
12:00 so bond goes straight to the bad guy. i guess i missed something
12:33 oh right he makes the moonraker shuttles.
13:10 why not just live in france?
14:23 my question is how many super billionaires live in this world? and once bond destroys their estates what happens after that?
15:20 bond is the worst spy ever. everyone knows his name his job and reputation
16:19 i’ve never heard someone say cucumber sandwich in such an evil way
17:03 dr. goodhead? that’s not a blowjob joke is it?
18:07 don’t act fucking surprised Bond! you’re not helping things.
19:05 stop it national geographic. i don’t watch bond for education i watch it for sexism and stupid action
19:58 if 20’gs can kill you then why allow the machine to go that fast
20:48 “you’re mother is stripping infront of the entire training crew next door” “i better go”
21:51 evidently bond is epileptic
22:51 thanks Q for giving bond the one gadget he needs to solve this particular problem only five fucking minutes ago
23:53 see bond was suspicious before but now the villain played his hand and bond knows he’s the villain. stupid fucking bond villains.
25:28 lady at least have sex with him first and then give him the info. he’s just getting a free fuck now
26:51 look lady you’re not trying very had to stop him so who’s really at fault here
27:37 he was just looking at her boob again.
28:05 at least the camera is easily identifyable as the one that has all the super secret picture on it.
28:53 what does this guy do? just hide around corners all the time
29:30 it was a sad day for birds everywhere. we will never forgot the atrocities of this day
31:32 this guy seems really new at this whole villain thing. all his attempts to kill bond have either been half assed or incompetent
33:00 and when he means terminating employement he actually means get eaten by dogs.
33:48 HOVER GONDOLA!! I SEE YOU THERE
34:32 never put a james bond in a glass shop
36:35 bond you’re suppose to put some distant between yourself and the person your following
37:27 “…don’t bother, i’m a lesbian” Bond’s true nemesis
38:33 oh look christopher lee is back
38:49 FUCK YOU HOVER GONDOLA! i will take a lot of shit but this is too much
39:54 does venice really have stop lights?
40:22 fucking hover gondola
40:57 did that pegion just do a double take. fuck you movie fuck you
42:11 is it sad that i instantly think that scientist is german by just how he looks
42:33 ok when did close encounters come out. they had better not be stealing that.
44:14 now drink it and see what it does!!
45:09 well maybe you guys should have been haz mat suits or gas masks or something. for all i care you guys killed yourselves
46:00 nice job announcing when you are going to attack dumbass
47:30 there have been a lot of bad henchmen in the bond series so far but this guy takes the cake
48:30 i don’t think this guy even knows how to fight. he’s just yelling and striking out randomly
49:43 ok something came up and i have to go. I’ll finish this later today
50:19 where are all these gadgets coming from? she’s worse than Q
51:06 there is nothing standard about any of this stuff
52:16 this man must have a boner twenty four seven. there is just no way one man can have this much sex and still be standing
53:49 que price is right failure song here
56:20 this is the one thing i won’t miss. the useless travel shots that show bond getting off planes, checking into motels, and just driving around
58:33 and bond is still wearing a tux in this. dude just relaxe.
59:56 the most terrifying image put to film.
1;00:36 it is time to fucking leave.
1:00:50 don’t walk up to him!
1:01:25 ummmmm you can escape now he’s not going to hurt you
1:02:24 “i guess i will party, i really wanted to kill bond but partying is the next best thing, if you insist”
1:03:35 when does rio stop partying is the question? these people have been going for a day straight
1:05:40 JAWS GOD AMONG MEN, HE BENDS METAL TO HIS WILL
1:07:55 hooray for awkaward fights that aren’t suspensful
1:09:30 and jaws brushes it off like nothing. such a cool dude. if his penis wouldn’t impale me i would have his man babies.
1:10:00 oh look, jaws in love! let my barf
1:11:19 her distraction methods are second too none, “just keep staring, just keep staring”
1:12:32 making the cast of jackass proud
1:14:35 i feel like the monks here should be objecting to some of this
1:15:40 and now bond is a herbologist.
1:16:45 INITIATE RANDOM ACTION SEQUENCE.
1:17:32 This is a very sad day for the dummy race. this is a day that will live in infamy
1:18:38 is this a commercial for carlson boats. must be.
1:21:35 and so bond just followers her into a death trap
1:21:53: “what’s that dick? yeah i’ll totally keep following her in hopes to have sex with her.”
1:22:46 we’re getting really low on the evil animal here.
1:24:11 in any context that was a bad joke
1:25:27 this guy isn’t a villian he’s a cult leader
1:27:01 that’s a really good question with a really answer
1:28:16 this is the worst conference room ever.
1:29:44 they would still die
1:31:21 way to be alert guys you just allowed a woman and an aging man to knock you out
1:32:55 is no one else monitoring the sky’s right now? wouldn’t someone notice how many shuttles had just launched
1:34:30 guys just wait until we get to the station ok there is no reason to start now.
1:35:18 you’re in antigravity it doesn’t make you move slower bond
1:36:33 there had to be some initial investers for this project
1:37:58 this guy is never been in space before he’s just flaying around
1:39:11 wait how did she get on board?
1:40:15 this guy needs to work on his public speaking skills
1:41:43 this is the ministry of fucking goofy walking
1:42:39 way to go bond you get a gold star
1:43:14 MEANWHILE ON EARTH!!
1:43:20 “so guys about this thing that just showed up on our radars.”
1:44:24 “i found you. you’re turn to play hide and seek”
1:45:03 you were just saying letters. that means nothing
1:46:00 just shoot bond. it’s all you gotta dude
1:47:12 “…expect for you bond, i have no idea how to kill you. i have this gun but that doesn’t make sense.”
1:49:21 if one button could cause that much damage why can it be so easily accessed
1:50”29 i like how they have a shuttle that was prepared to be a troop carrier
1:50:56 LAZER BATTLE!!!
1:53:06 These are some weak ass laser guns.
1:54:03 why does that thing have 7 barrels.
1:54:23 and bond just airlocks a dude. harsh
1:55:00 IT’S ALIVE
1:56:25 everyone is wearing space suits but no one is wearing helmets.
1:56:57 and they leave jaws to die in space. assholes
1:57:58 you are about to die why are you smiling and waving goodbye like you’re going on vacation
1:59:58 these actually seems really easy they are in SPACE
2:00”56 she seems a little too calm
2:01:36 stay on target, stay on target
2:03:08 but he’s bond why would you do that
2:03:20 lol sex