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22 Notes

All the James Bonds Combined

Six actors, Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan, and Daniel Craig, have portrayed James Bond in feature films (David Niven also played Bond in Casino Royale in 1967, but many consider that film “unofficial”).

Redditor g_noodle combined Bond portraits of the six actors into two “transition” Bonds, with the three “early” Bonds (Connery, Moore, Lazenby) on the left and the three “recent” Bonds (Dalton, Brosnan, and Craig) on the right. Then those two images were combined to achieve a final combination, which looks like an actor who would be considered perfect for the role.

Who does it look like to you? Clive Owen? George Clooney? Mel Gibson? I still see Sean Connery and Roger Moore in this picture. The various steps in the process are shown in a series at imgur. Link -via reddit

Filed in Sean Connery George Lazenby Roger Moore Timothy Dalton Pierce Brosnan Daniel Craig james bond funny

2 Notes

From Russia with Love: Live Blog

jamesbondliveblog:

Well here we are with the second Live blog wit the second James Bond film. This is just the initial post the real fun is when I actually start at 9. Just keep refreshing and have fun.

I just put in my DVD. The menu’s on the Bond box set that I have are using way to many sound effects for the animations.

00:25 I still can’t get over the jump across for the barrel shot

01:23 And tumblr is way slow. I’m going to be more careful about what i say

01:53 “I saw you do that, don’t think I didn’t see you”

2:23 dude he unzipped his fly

3:12 I love the sucking sound they made for taking the mask off. I would type it out but i wouldn’t know were to start

4:13 I can’t wait until we get to the opening sequences where all the woman are in silhoutte projecting words onto bodies isn’t exaclty sexy “Oh yeah baby show me who’s name that is. Recording artists are so sexy.

6:05 I actually do love chess. so for me this scene is actually really badass even though it’s cheesy as hell with all the old dudes whispering quietly with each other.

8:12 dude he totally brushed that dude off. He just wanted to shake your hand.

8:45 why does spectre number all of their agents. they die like flies so why bother.

9:35 He’s a stragetist that plays chess. he is the most qualified

10:24 If you defect wouldn’t our name be told to everyone. sure your defecting from a communist country but it’s still a dick move

11:05 Early Bond films are great because there’s an actual continuity going on

11:50 Bond gets woman waiting in his hotel room and this asshole gets a personal massure that strips for him. where the fuck you find these woman? I want one.

11:40 Bad Touch. BAD TOUCH!

13:15 so who gets to be the live targets. I doubt they get insurance.

14:00 What kind of test is that? he could be retarded for all you know but he can take a punch to the stomach so he may be awesome at everything.

14:45 I gotta admit this chick is one of the hottest of the early Bond girls

15:27 Frau Blucker. *cue horse*

16:00 And this is why you identify your defectors because they can do shit like this.

16:16 I’m getting a rapey vibe here

17:42 she’s totally getting raped. number 2 doesn’t like whiners. remember the safety word

18:38 A beeper. Holy shit he has a beeper. Fucking high tech man.

18:55 and now a car phone. your blowing my mind man.

19:42 Because he’s going to “eat her out” lol sex

20:20 you can desperately see the writers trying to figure out the formula here. the briefing scene is a classic that a lot of people ignore.

21:13 and this is the reason woman hate Bond. the only reason he goes on this mission is to fuck the girl. what a douche.

21:40 Q i love Q so cool he should have his own series.

23:20 Two minutes of Q explaining a new gadget. and people say these films have a pacing problems. how dare they.

24:07 i bet the secret of the world is blowjobs. 

24:27 See it’s the name of the movie. Do you see it? Do you see!! DO YOU SEE!!

25:07 i despize spy talk. they’re suppose to be regular conversations but they never sound like it especially when the two of them are smiling at each other like it’s some kind of inside joke.

26:35 it’s nice to be in a location actually filled with people. Dr. No was populated with palm trees Quarrel called “captain” RIP quarrel

27: 55 They’re all your sons? jesus how much fucking do you do?

28:50 Bond music for driving down the street. 

29:14 here goes the singing again *I’m checking into my hotel/hope i get a good room/this elavator is really crammed*

30:06 *I found the bathroom/what a neat painting/ i like clocks/ i found a bug and now i’m pissed*

30:57 and then the song ends randomly. fucking love this shit.

31:10 the bed is too small for all the fucking. and why wouldn’t bond just get the bridal sweet to begin with it’s designed for ALL OF THE FUCKING!

32:20 how does she see anything through those glasses. 

32:57 I’m pretty sure she’s saying “come fuck me” and he’s ignoring her. just fuck her on principle dude you owe it to all of us dude’s not getting any.

33:52 and this is what you get for not fucking her sooner. a bomb in your house.

34:24 I’ve just realized there is a lot of sex going on here.

35:10 See what we never see is this dude singing love songs to Bond in order to swoon him for more sex. 

36:00 they just GAVE you a periscope. Fine, I want a torpedo i’m going to make a coffee table out of it.

37:36 who in the Bond universe doens’t kill for pleasure?

38:05 ok Bond your just masterbating now “oh yes, i want to see her in the flesh” Bond you put that away right now! no one wants to see that.

39:48 “i hope your good with eating with your finger” what kind of question is that. they’re his fingers it’s not like he doesn’t know how to use them.

41:00 I’m sorry i don’t find belly dancers sexy. they might as well be strippers at this point. strippers that need a good beef sandwich my god she’s skinny.

42:36 And in this corner skank number two. FIGHT.

43:23 i love how this counts as an action sequence. music and everything. who’s eyes will be ripped out first. it’s so suspenseful.

44:35 Don’t run towards the guys with the guns. Run away. 

45:05 if you’re shot in the elbow i’m pretty sure you won’t be able to move it. or this guy is just that badass.

46:02 Bond just flipped that table as if he was helping someone. YOu just don’t flip a table and walk off. it’s rude.

47:30 Bond is actually stopping a girl fight. i guess his boner was too much to take.

48:02 so he gets to fuck both of them. Fuck you Bond, fuck you

48:35 and their his slaves. sex wasn’t enough. now i’m just pissed.

50:20 more son’s?

51:14 who makes a sniper rifle out of a luger that’s an important question

52:15 green figs and yogurt for breakfast. wow bond eats light

52:55 oh thank god there’s a sound i really don’t like watching sean “hairy” connery strip.

53:22 I could watch her strip however. again how is this movie rated pg she was completely naked.

54:10 to put his cock in. guys just shot a porno because that’s what you want to do.

55:28 so how many chicks has bond fucked so far. four? five? and they’re filming it. well we need proof of something.

56:27 this is actually a cool sequence. it’s the most thrilling bond has ever been. 

58:14 also robert shaws character is really well handled. i love the way he’s sulking in the shadows for most of the film

59:55 he wants the sex. i’m just guessing however. 

1:01:37 it’s a recorder too. it’s a phone away from being an iphone

1:02:25 these guys are waiting for the sex. they don’t give a shit about the code machine.

1:03:13 and moneypenny keeps listening bet she’s a perv in a good way

1:04:12 dude he takes pride in his clock. it’s his special clock

1:04:55 in soviet russia you tell clock what time it is.

1:05:26 ok a lot of people had to have died. half the building is gone. Bond is officially a terriost.

1:08:00 Bond doesn’t look like a Summerset. bad fake names are obvious.

1:08:33 stop calling everyone that works for you sons. it’s creepy do you make them all dress up in flannel pajama’s on christmas and make them sit around the xmas tree.

1:10:20 translated to “Get the door woman!”

1:11:57 he’s going to tell him the story about how he had a massive orgy and got everyone pregant and that’s why he has so many sons.

1:12:35 My god she’s hot.

1:13:03 and they have sex again. now your just rubbing it in our noses.

1:13:50 what did she mean by that. What customs? I’m curious. there is only a 70 percent chance they actually meant sex there so I want to know.

1:15:10 and i actually liked that guy more than quarrel. he was nice  RIP.

1:16:08 his dad died. this is going to be one big funeral.

1:16:48 and bond goes straight to abuse. he assumed she did it and just slaps her for no reason.

1:17:30 Bond hates it when they fall in love with him. the cock is then off limits. 

1:18:39 the same spy talk. it doesn’t work if everyone knows it.

1:19:58 At this point i think the director had a train fetish. 

1:21:34 ah the days when everyone didn’t have pictures handy of what people looked like. so many henchman could have been saved.

1:22:19 this is the first time shaw’s character actually talks. it’s off putting and a little creepy which works

1:23:50 you can tell bond knows that isn’t the right guy and shaws character seems to suspect it. the verbal joisting they do is a lot of fun to watch.

1:24:50 i think he’s using “old man” just to piss bond off. wait until we get to Diamonds are Forever.

1:26:09 even if bond was buying shaw’s character he does not like this asshole. he’s one old man from punching him in the face

1:27:48 the old knockout. classic

1:28:43 “now do a little dance for me. make it sexy”

1:30:12 this is something that i want to see in a new Bond film. Bond vs a single individual we get that with man with a golden gun but other than that it’s always been a crime boss or some rich ass hole

1:31:09 Bond is really fucking sick of being called old man.

1:32:29 And this is why Robert Shaw is an amazing actor. He’s so creepy and threatening.

1:33:03 this scene has gone on for a little too long though

1:34:10 this glass echo’s like a motherfucker. what kind of glass is that?

1:34:55 This actually reminds me of some Bourne fights. 

1:35:22 this is no time to unzip your fly!

1:36:42 dude she’s been drugged what do you expect

1:37:55 I want the hate to come back. can you see Daniel Craig’s bond wearing a hat like that. I bet it would be epic

1:39:20 Bond drives like my grandma. chin on the steering wheel.

1:40:00 Fucking helicopter levels. so damn irritating.

1:40:58 helicopters are not an effective weapon. trying to hit someone with the rotors is more of a funny novelty than a precise way to murder someone

1:41:55 sniper lugar to the rescue. not to mention one goddamn lucky shot.

1:42:27 Bond has a hat for everything. battle helicopter hat. fight dude in train hat, and now sailing hat

1:43:38 “do you swim” i get the feeling that you didn’t care about the answer Bond

1:44:23 because the guy that made the plan is never at fault. he can’t be wrong because he plays chess

1:45:19 foot knife. why hasn’t someone made that for woman like mace

1:46:28 “we just want to know were you got that snazzy hat?”

1:47:32 yes keep shooting at the gas tanks. that’ll help.

1:47:57 did you really need binoculars to see something five feet away. must be really near sighted.

1:48:55 guys there is water all around you. just jump in. there is zero reason to stay on the boat.

1:49:27 as if she would jump off the balcony

1:50:14 lol why is this movie still playing. this last fight doesn’t really achieve anything.

1:51:40 foot knife. it’s not really a fighting weapon more of a defensive weapon

1:52:10 and the scary bondage lesbian is dead. a tragedy.

1:52:30 “had her kicks” now your just enjoying this Bond.

1:53:06 my question is what happens to all these bond women after the film. were do they go, they never show up again. does bond have a basement filled with bodies?

Well that’s it. Tomorrow is Goldfinger, the definitive Connery Bond film. Tune in at nine. 

Filed in james bond sean connery from russia with love liveblog

4 Notes

Dr. No: Live Blog

jamesbondliveblog:

Welcome to my first live blog event. We’re kicking this sucker off with the first Bond film ever made and possible one of the lesser watched of the twenty plus film franchise. This was back when Bond was still a regular spy and not a super spy. But enough chit chat. Let get going. 
 
0:00:32 Ah the first barrel shot. It hasn’t changed since and for good reason. It perfectly sums up everything Bond is. It’s just the jump across the barrel that the stunt man does is fucking histerical and stupid. 
 
0:01:45 The opening sequence is weird. It jumps from poka dots to jamician dancing to three blind mice. it’s just disoreinting.   
 
0:3:32 I love how british these guys are. they have every stereotype in the book within seconds. THEY’RE SO FUCKING BRITISH. 
  
0:04:34 lol bookcase radio. it’s high tech 
 
0:05:20 Why have all the bad guys been black so far? 
   
0:06:20 What’s great about Dr. No is that it’s actually set up to be a mystery thriller and not an action film that it become later.  
  
0:07:30 I’m geniuely surprised that they don’t show Bond’s face from the start and hide him. It creates a cool mystic around him making the first lines Bond says in the entire franchise all that more meaning ful.  
 
0:08:20 First use of inappropiate theme song. He’s not even in an intense game. 
 
0:9:15 “Amongst other things” she couldn’t possibly be refering to sex could she. 
 
0:09:40 Bond theme music for getting out of an elevator. You know you could slip through the cracks and kill yourself, dangerous business. 
  
0:11:45 Connerys eyebrows seem like their going to wrap around his head if he doesn’t groom them properly 
  
tech difficults just a sec 
 
0:13:40 A 40 percent drop in casualities that’s massive how many were dying before 
 
0:13:55 Fun fact 007 actually prefers the berrata over the walter ppk making it the first gadget bond ever recieved in the franchise. 
 
0:15:37 I want half naked women just waiting for me in me hotel room. Why can ‘t I have that. Damn you god. 
 
0:16:56 he’s getting out of the airport why is the theme playing. is this music just playing in bond’s head at all times. i bet he sings along too. *just reading my newspaper/gotta make a call/oh look there’s a phone/ i’m so lucky* 
  
0:18:38 He’s wearing sunglasses. that makes him sinister and mysterious. Owes knows 
 
0:19:40 the first bond car chase and bond isn’t even driving. he’s just that bad ass. He doesn’t even need to drive 
 
21:04 Bond’s kind of a dick. just flipping dudes left and right. 
 
22:10 LoL he’s dead. Get it? GET IT! 
 
23:10 did these guys not investigate at all before Bond showed up. “We obviously can’t handle this guys. Lets go home” 
 
25:17 And this is why you don’t recommend Dr. NO as the first bond film to watch. He just spent two goddamn minutes making sure no one entered his room. The bond theme wasn’t even playing. We get the song for him buying a new hat but not for actual spy stuff. 
 
27:10 ok all the bad guys so far have been black and now Quarrel shows up and he’s a coward. the sixties were so racist and in the worst kind of ways. bad guys and cowards. 
 
29:00 What Bond didn’t say there was that he loved the way Quarrel smelled. 
 
30:00 He ‘wrasltes’ aligators evidently. that is information everyone needs to know. HEY EVERYONE HE WRASTLES ALLIGATORS! 
  
31:10 I’ve always loved the felix lighter character. weofully under used.  
 
32:30 Sean Connery is just yelling at everyone at this point. It’s not necassary.  
 
34:10 the abuse going on this film is almost intollerable and Quarrel seems to be enjoying this a little too much. He fucking smiled when she cut his face, who the fuck is this guy he’s both a coward and has a bondage fetish 
 
35:50 you know the three blind mice aren’t very good assassins. it might be the blindness. 
 
37:18 these are the days when bond got his information through cunning and smarts and not betting faces in. good times good times. 
 
38:10 it only took forty minutes but we have our first bad guy who isn’t black. look at you your being progressive, your so cute. 
 
39:00 of course the evil island is filled with black and asian men 
 
39:38 God? is that you? why am i in the scary room with the chair. it scares at me. 
 
40:56 so this dude failed killing bond so instead we’re going to send this slow moving spider. Dr. No is gangsta. 
 
41:30 theme music for checking your messages *it’s so cold out/ i wonder if anyone called me/cool i have a new car* 
 
43:25 “I sense a disturbance in the force.” 
 
44:27 did we really need the music to signal every strike of the shoe. it’s not like it was a mutant spider, just a regular spider. I wonder if the spider will have to talk to god now in the scary room with the chair? 
 
46:05 more evil asians great  this movie is so god damn racist. 
 
47:40 Quarrel is the biggest fucking coward. also substute “captian” with “masta”  
 
49:16 who fucking talks on the phone like that. it can’t  be comfortable. 
 
49:50 *just enjoying a drive/it’s so sunny out/ the wind is in my hair/ i love my new car* 
 
50:30 Careful that movie screen behind you might catch up 
 
51:52 who makes towels like that? it’s like a fucking dress 
 
52:42 He’s sniffy it, why is he sniffy it. and he’s grinning. Fucking creepy 
 
53:45 So Bond is just going for the free fuck then. and the ceiling fan is a weird thing to cut to. is there some sex move called the helicopter i don’t know about? 
 
54:50 and he fucks her again. he must have a business account with viagra 
 
57:50 Bond doesn’t give a shit who you are. He’s just a dick to everyone. Asshole. Can’t a man assisnate someone in peace. 
 
59:40 Look their shooting blue for night. who ever thought that effect actually worked? 
 
1:01:00 did sean connery show up on location for anything. there’s always a goddamn rear projection screen behind him. You know the water isn’t that scary sean it’s just wet. 
 
1:02:35: the only shot from Dr. NO anyone will actually recognize. 
 
1:04:00 Honey Rider? Even in the beginning they weren’t trying to be subtle. 
 
1:06:21 Guys ammo isn’t unlimited there’s no reason to keep shooting at nothing. if no one is there than no one is fucking there you baboons. 
 
1:07:10 “That was a machine gun not a dragon” thank you James Obvious 
 
1:11:32 James Bond Alligator impersonator. Careful i hear there’s a guy around that ‘wrastles’ alligators. 
 
1:12:24 Why did she take her top off. it was a bathing suit. guys at least try and not objectivefy here. 
 
1:13:40 I kind of miss films that introduce a main character over half way through the film.  
 
1:14:26 What’s with the people in this film and spiders. Everyone uses spiders to kill each other. When did this start and why did it stop? Is there a spider assassin union? 
 
1:15:46 that’s it Quarrel is skitzo. there is no way that’s a ‘dragon.’ he probable thinks Bond is the candy king here to save him from the spider assassin guild. 
 
1:17:00 Goodbye Quarrel. You were a coward and a bad stereo type but we’ll miss you calling everyone captian. 
 
1:18:50 this is one chick short of a fetish video. “Yes unradiate me more big boy.” 
 
1:20:00 how did this get a pg rating. they practically just showed her naked. 
 
1:21:45 these are the nicest henchwomen ever. there’s even a mint on my bed. that’s so sweet of them. I’m leaving a tip i don’t care if it’s frowned upon 
 
1:22:57 You’re in a cell Bond. To not think the place is ‘wired for sound’ would make you stupid. wait a second this is James “Punch first’ Bond. Never mind. 
 
1:23:50 so what was the purpose of drugging them. no seriously it never comes up and they just wake up the next day.  
 
1:27:00 Welcome to this episode of MtV cribs were we check out Dr. No’s amazing pad. He’s so gangsta. 
 
1:28:18 No really he is gangsta.  
 
1:29:24 Atomic Power. ONly the fifties and sixties ever used that phrase.  
 
1:30:58  at this point you really do realize that HOney rider really is nothing but eye candy here. the filmmakers literally just dragged her out of the film. 
 
1:34:43 Oh look a man sized air vent in a prison cell. There is absolutely no way anyone would ever ever try to escape through there. it would be too easy. 
 
1:35:50 “Come on out, have a few laughs” 
 
1:37:00 Are these air vents or water vents. Did some one put freddy on the switch again? Goddamn it guys he falls asleep every shift you can’t do that. No, no, no I”ll fix it you keep having your tunafish sandwich. Do you really want Dr. NO down here again crushing things at us. Once he starts he’ll keep going for hours. 
 
1:39:10 Someone needs to tell me if that’s a pink hazmat suit or not. because if it is i’m laughing my ass off. 
 
1:40:19 “Danger Level” so does the arrow point at where the danger level is than? I’m unclear. Can you make the red arrow larger? It would be a great help. 
 
1:41:29 he hasn’t stop cranking that thing. and his suit is filled with air maybe he dreamt of being the stay puft marshmellow man one night and started having fetish thoughts while at his post at the ‘danger level’ crank station. 
 
1:43:00 You know i just realize that I never understood Dr. No’s evil scheme. What is he trying to do here? Blow something up? Sabatoge a rocket launch? He has a gaint glowing orb so is it word domination?  
 
1:44:50 And the Doc goes out like a bitch. And all because he didn’t have fingers. HOw sad. 
 
1:45:45 Sean Connery is channeling his inner William Shatner here. 
 
1:46:21 So were each of those rooms elaborate death traps? Was this a hobby of Dr. NO’s? He just liked building death traps since the tragic loss of his hands. It was either that or start drinking again. 
 
1:48:00 they weren’t out of fuel he just wanted to bang her that evil ass bastard. Seriously Bond’s cock should be liscensed as a lethal weapon 
 
1:49:10 and bonds first film ends with him banging a chick for the second time in a day. way to have goals dude. 
 
And that ends the first live blog event. That was actually kind of fun, and please leave comments. Tommorrow some time after seven I’ll be doing From Russia with Love, so try to be here for that.  Good night, I’m out *drops mic*

Filed in dr. no james bond sean connery liveblog

4 Notes

Miss Taro - The Character in the Movie

In the 1962 James Bond movie Dr. No, Miss Taro worked as a  secretary for Pleydell-Smith at Government house in Kingston, Jamaica.  She also worked for Dr. No and  reported to him that James Bond was coming over to investigate the death  of John  Strangways, the head of station in Jamaica. Bond was the only one  who realized her connection with Dr. No and he even caught her spying on  a conversation through a keyhole.
Miss Taro invited Bond to her house for dinner, something that didn’t  happen in the novel. It was,  of course,  a trap and three of Dr. No’s  henchmen came after bond in a hearse. Bond managed to loose them,  sending them flying down a cliff, and drove on to Miss Taro’s house. She  was surprised to see him and soon after got a call from another of Dr.  No’s henchmen Professor  Dent. Miss Taro said that Bond was there and she was told to keep  him there so he could be assassinated later on.
She kept Bond there and said she would make a Chinese. Bond lied,  saying he fancied something else and that he would call a cab. He had  actually called Government House and when Miss Taro got in the car, she  realized she was being arrested and spat in Bond’s face. Bond stayed to  wait for Professor Dent and Miss Taro was presumably sent to jail or to  be interrogated.

The Character in the Book

Miss Taro is a fictional character who appeared in Ian Fleming’s  novel Dr. No, published in 1958. She was a Chinese woman who  worked in Jamaica as a secretary for Pleydell-Smith, who in turn worked  for the British Secret Service as Principal Secretary at Government  House in Kingston, Jamaica.
Off the coast of Jamaica was a small island named Crab Key. It was  owned by Dr. No, who was using a powerful radio beam to takeover the  guidance systems of USA test missiles so he could crash land them. Miss  Taro reported back any information that may concern him or his island.  She looked through Bond’s file and reported that a British Spy was  coming to Investigate. Bond discovered this when he found his folder  open on her desk. She also stole the files on Crab Key to deter anyone  from investigating. Unlike the movie, Miss Taro doesn’t appear again  after Bond’s meeting with Pleydell-Smith.

from Miss Taro @ 007 James

Miss Taro - The Character in the Movie

In the 1962 James Bond movie Dr. No, Miss Taro worked as a secretary for Pleydell-Smith at Government house in Kingston, Jamaica. She also worked for Dr. No and reported to him that James Bond was coming over to investigate the death of John Strangways, the head of station in Jamaica. Bond was the only one who realized her connection with Dr. No and he even caught her spying on a conversation through a keyhole.

Miss Taro invited Bond to her house for dinner, something that didn’t happen in the novel. It was, of course, a trap and three of Dr. No’s henchmen came after bond in a hearse. Bond managed to loose them, sending them flying down a cliff, and drove on to Miss Taro’s house. She was surprised to see him and soon after got a call from another of Dr. No’s henchmen Professor Dent. Miss Taro said that Bond was there and she was told to keep him there so he could be assassinated later on.

She kept Bond there and said she would make a Chinese. Bond lied, saying he fancied something else and that he would call a cab. He had actually called Government House and when Miss Taro got in the car, she realized she was being arrested and spat in Bond’s face. Bond stayed to wait for Professor Dent and Miss Taro was presumably sent to jail or to be interrogated.

The Character in the Book

Miss Taro is a fictional character who appeared in Ian Fleming’s novel Dr. No, published in 1958. She was a Chinese woman who worked in Jamaica as a secretary for Pleydell-Smith, who in turn worked for the British Secret Service as Principal Secretary at Government House in Kingston, Jamaica.

Off the coast of Jamaica was a small island named Crab Key. It was owned by Dr. No, who was using a powerful radio beam to takeover the guidance systems of USA test missiles so he could crash land them. Miss Taro reported back any information that may concern him or his island. She looked through Bond’s file and reported that a British Spy was coming to Investigate. Bond discovered this when he found his folder open on her desk. She also stole the files on Crab Key to deter anyone from investigating. Unlike the movie, Miss Taro doesn’t appear again after Bond’s meeting with Pleydell-Smith.

from Miss Taro @ 007 James

Filed in miss taro zena marshall dr. no 1962 sean connery differencies villains